Movies 2007 Rountable Spectacular

Part V: The marvels of celery

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Well, despite my prowess in fantasy football pick ‘em, maybe I am a movie snob. Better than a goddam hipster.

I am not sure how much more I have to say on The Bourne Ultimatum or Brand Upon The Brain! other than the former is the best action/thriller movie I have seen and the latter was my favorite movie-going experience of 2007. But I’ve already said that twice. So now having built up these two movies I must expound. The pressure mounts. But after my continued griping it will be nice to talk about what I liked.

I place The Bourne Ultimatum in the action/thriller category to separate it from action/adventure movies like Raiders of the Lost Ark. Both are well done and non-stop but they are different types of movies. If there is a better category let me know. The entire Bourne trilogy has been a very pleasant surprise. The Bourne Ultimatum is the best of the bunch. Like The Bourne Supremacy it leaves off where its predecessor ended and then just doesn’t stop engaging. There wasn’t a moment to rest as you are swept along from one foreign city to another until the climax in the Big Apple. Even Julia Stiles’ twitching eyebrows school of acting couldn’t divert me. Now, I’m a sucker for the protagonist who is better than everyone else and always one step ahead of those chasing him. Matt Damon plays this type in Jason Bourne perfectly. Always a calm demeanor, finishing up looking over a building plan and walking out a half-second before someone walks in, seemingly giving up his position to know exactly how to get his fat out of the fire. The movie is taut and compelling. There is a sense of urgency that drags you along. An excellent scene has Bourne on a phone walking through a crowded area giving directions to someone on how to leave the same area unnoticed. All the while he is taking out government operatives. Everything happens so convincingly and slyly. Sometimes when I am in a crowded place I wonder what it would be like to have a Bourne roaming through, chased by people just like him, but never noticing anything out of the ordinary. The Bourne series, and this movie in particular, creates a world I don’t think exists, but think maybe, could exist and, further, think it would be cool if it did exist. (Not cool in a we have a government that trains expert killers and then disposes of them unceremoniously when their usefulness expires sort of way. Just cool is all.)

A different movie in every way is Brand Upon the Brain! Although The Saddest Music in the World and Dracula: Pages from a Virgin’s Diary were great, I haven’t been enthusiastic about everything director Guy Maddin has done. Cowards Bend the Knee was so-so and his shorts seem repetitive. Brand Upon the Brain! was great, not only due to its content – an autobiographical story of a man going back to the island lighthouse orphanage where he grew up – but because I saw it live. Yes, live. It was still moving pictures projected onto a screen but accompanied by a real-life narrator, a real-life orchestra, and real-life Foley artists. The narrator and orchestra gave feeling to the pictures flicking before my eyes without being a distraction. I wish I could say the same about the Foley artists. Three people decked out white lab coats and safety glasses seamlessly creating the sound effects. I may be imagining the safety glasses but they fit the atmosphere as I now imagine it. The wind whistling, the waves crashing, the pitter-patter of children’s steps up and down the lighthouse’s long never-ending spiral staircase. And the celery! My god, mounds of celery crunched and squeezed to make superb sounds! A boat on the water, the creaking of a floorboard, a mother's muffled voice. Is there anything celery can't do. What it lacks in flavor it supplies in versatility. These people are geniuses. For much of the movie they mesmerized me. I’d hear a sound and look quickly to their pit to see how they made it. Of course I was too late. So, then I’d have to anticipate the next sound and make a premature glance all the while being lulled by the narrator’s smooth voice. It was like listening to the soundtrack. Amazingly, if the narrator, orchestra, and Foley artists were all out of sight you wouldn’t believe you just watched everything live. It was fantastic. I would see more movies with live accompaniments. But, for sure, Guy Maddin and his modern Cinema-Scope style is the best suited to something like this.

Colbinski add your thoughts to Brand Upon the Brain!